chance of rain

I've always expressed an unpleasant feeling towards the rain. Indoors or outdoors. Outdoors, I get wet and I feel moist and icky and germ-ed (literal). Indoors, I feel wet and icky and germ-ed (figurative). Sure it's a Nescafe moment but I stopped drinking coffee since months ago.

There's a translucent silver sheet that blankets your vision, we call it raindrops. And it paints everything dull - the trees, the buildings, the people, the streets, the vehicles. Sometimes, it blocks our judgment and we think of dull things like loneliness and our lives tragedies.

Where am I getting at? Pardon the incoherent introduction but what I really want to say is.. notice weather forecasts? No matter how promising a fine sunshining tomorrow looks like in the weather room, they will always say there's a "there's a x-percent chance of rain", or "scattered rainshowers in the afternoon".. that's because meteorologists know that weather is a fickle bitch.

And I'll tell you another fickle bitch - Destiny. (You all should watch LOST!)

And another bitch that just won't die - my insecurities (collective).

That is why, I'll go back to working out again.

But you know what I like about the rain? It feels so nice when it stops. It gets rid of the filth of the metro, the skies are clear, the roads are clean. And everything looks beautifully photoshopped. But the dark feeling lingers inside me. Ah, to the gym!

and I forgot

There's a reason why I entitled my previous entry "erect sensibilities".
Is it the weather?

All these thoughts in my head.. inappropriate topic for blog.

ADIDAS

***

So much for ccerebral blogging. Let's talk narrative!

I was in San Pablo, Laguna yesterday. Jeland passed the bar! Woot woot! And he threw a giant party in San Pablo. There I met a few interesting people. The travel sucked. I hate commuting. Good thing Kerwin was there and the ever reliable Xerxes (mp3 player).

But before San Pablo was an interesting make-up class in PolSc14. We talked about the Armed Forces' role in Philippine politics. My professor is a consultant in the AFP which makes the discussion exciting - will his bias show? And for a while, it did show. In our previous discussions, he bashed the government, the present administration, the bureaucracy for all its flaws. But he was generally forgiving with the AFP's mishaps.

The probing and inquisitive student that I am, I asked about his views about the alleged 'extra-judicial killings (EJK)' that been tagged to the AFP. He went on to saying that (this is paraphrasing, not verbatim) there is no written policy on these kind of attacks. The AFP strictly abides the provision of human rights. However, if such activities do occur, it's on the commander-level and no order whatsoever has been given for these acts to be carried out.

I was like.. uh, yeah right. (narrative ends, haha, back to cerebral)

I don't know if he just implied that the AFP (or a minor minor branch of it) is indeed involved in the EJK. But whatever. All these talk of AFP is making me sick.

*unleash inner activist*

It's not a secret that two UP students, Karen and She are still missing. There whereabouts still unknown. But there's been talk about their disappearance. We all know where the fingers are pointed out. Same goes for Jonas Burgos.

So what is the purpose of this entry? This is to inform all of you that these kinds of evil exist in this world. And it is not enough that we make ourselves aware. It's not about taking this to the streets, too many has done that and failed to address real issues. Let's take it to the blogs!

***

Wow, I actually wrote something like that. How political.

ADIDAS

Please link http://www.biggereager.blogspot.com to your blogs! Thanks

erect sensibilities

The sun shines brightly but it doesn't really mean the past few days were warm to me. In a nutshell, it's a struggle - realizations after realizations. It's quite cool actually albeit really painful to crush pre-conceived thoughts about things. Too vague? Ah well, let's just say I'm not as marketable as I think I am. Manny Pacquiao bleeds after some heavy blows. Being the goody-goody, sensitive, whatever-hypocrite that I am, it's only fair to assume that I also do.

I actually think that I have a good perspective of things now - nebulous and formless but it's on the rational side of things. No more psych-ward-worthy acts like calling people randomly.

It's just weird, though. I'm getting used to the loneliness. This may not be a good thing.

Here I am at 4:38AM listening to Karen Carpenter and oddly finds comfort in her songs.

hyped

There was a time when I hated a blog. I never quite understood why my friend spent more time writing in his blog than actually talking to me.

Since February 2005, I blogged. At this point I can say it has become quite an addiction. I compulsively blog - my heartaches, my academic woes, my unusual but unexpected moments of happiness.

Ah well, and it's understood, sometimes, blogs can be the only avenue for being heard and being relieved.